Monday, November 4, 2013


Gratitude has been on my mind a lot lately.  And since it is now November and Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I decided it is time to write down a few thoughts on gratitude.  

This life is amazing.  Truly.  We are the most blessed people with so many things to be grateful for.  Even on those days that it seems the whole world is against you and it seems that everything that could go wrong, is.  Even on those days we have things to be grateful for.

Last week was amongst the worst of my life.  Our excitement over miracle pregnancy #2 was short lived when it was interrupted by miscarriage #2.  
4 1/2 years of trying, countless doctor visits, countless medications and needle pokes, 4 IUI's, 2 surgeries and now 2 miscarriages later and we are still childless.  It is easy to get angry.  It is easy to look at the lives of others and wish with all my might that I could have just a portion of what they have.

But then I remember... my life is amazing.  I am SO blessed.  That night, after my doctor had confirmed that I was in fact losing the pregnancy, as I said my prayers I was filled with emotion of every kind.  I wanted to cry to the Lord and ask him "why?" Why could I not have the joy and excitement that SO many others get to have?  Why were we given the overwhelmingly good news of successfully becoming pregnant only to be devastated by the news that it was not going to last?  
But instead, all I could think to do was pour out my heart in gratitude.  I thanked my Heavenly Father for the great and many blessings He has given me.  I was still sad, but that was ok.  I am loved and very blessed.
  • I have the most amazing husband a woman could ask for.  Seriously.
  • I have not only my family, but Dillon's family that love and support us.
  • I have the greatest friends that I have no idea how I got so lucky to have.
  • I have a loving and kind Heavenly Father.
  • I have a Savior that has felt my pains.  That has experienced my highest of highs and lowest of lows.  He knows how to comfort me.
  • I have a wonderful job that I love that gives me the opportunity to teach and love so many children.
  • I have the temporal blessings that I need right now in my life.  
    • we have a nice (semi warm :)) house to live in
    • we have working vehicles
    • we have jobs that produce income
    • we have food on the table and clothes on our backs

I might not have the perfect life and I might not have everything that I want in my life right now.  
But I have enough.

I love this time of year and the opportunity that I have to reflect on my blessings.  I'm especially grateful this year that I am able to recognize and focus on my blessings at such a trying and difficult time.

All of us experience trials.  We all have hard times.  It happens, it is part of life.  We can either choose to wallow in our sorrows and be angry at the world or we can choose to see the good that can and does come from trials and struggles.  
Here it comes...... are you ready for it?
......I am grateful for this trial of infertility.  Ok, not for the trial itself, but for the things I have gained because of experiencing it.
Really, truly.  
I am grateful for the things that I have learned, for the relationships that have been strengthened, for the friendships that have been renewed, for the compassion that I have developed, for my testimony that has been strengthened, and for the knowledge that I have gained.

I am blessed!

Friday, October 4, 2013

The twins!

During the middle of August we were lucky enough to have these two little cuties come and spend a few days with us!
Dad had  to work and mom had girls camp so off to Aunt Heidi and Uncle Dillon's it was.  And we had SO much fun!!  We filled our time with sidewalk chalk...
 Picnics at the park...
 Catching and playing with minnows...
 Making pizza....
 Eating ice cream cones...
 Playing at the splash park...
 Eating cotton candy....
And of course visiting and playing at Dillon's work after hours.

I'm so glad that my sister's trust me enough to let their kids come and stay and play with us :)
I was so sad when it was time for these kiddos to go home and can't wait for another sleepover!

Pound the Pavement for Parenthood

The weekend of August 3rd Dillon and I made the trek to Orem Utah to run in the Pound the Pavement for Parenthood 5k (that I talked about here).  It was amazing to see how many people came out in the dead heat to run for such an amazing cause.  We did not win the free IVF raffle but felt so blessed to have so many people sign up in our behalf and to have so many come and run with us!
...and friends!
And now I have to take a min to brag to all of you about how amazing of a best friend I have.  This girl is great!  She has seen me at my worst, and at my best and still loves me (I think ;).  She has proven to me many a times that she will do anything for me and goes above and beyond to cheer me up when I'm down or having a bad day.  It doesn't matter that we live 300 miles apart, she will send me a simple yet heart felt text, set up a Skype date with me, or randomly send me a package.  I have no doubt in my mind that if it came down to it she would give me the shirt off her back if I needed it.  She is seriously the best and I don't know what I would do without her support and love, especially over the past 4.5 years of this emotionally draining fertility journey.  I love you Shay!

5 years

On July 25th Dillon and I celebrated 5 years of wedded bliss.
 I know it is cliche, but I cannot believe that we have already been married for 5 years.  Time has flown by!  We have had our share of fun and our share of troubles but I seriously feel so blessed to have this man to share it all with.  He is simply amazing.  

To celebrate we really didn't do much since we had been out of town so much and just took the evening to eat our weight in pizza at Pizza Pie Cafe then headed to the movies.  A full price movie at that, possibly the first time our whole marriage that we actually paid full price for a movie.

Happy Anniversary Dillon 
Love you to the moon and back! 

Saturday, August 24, 2013


The day after we got home from Alaska I ran up to SV to bring our trouble making dog home.  My sister Heather and her hubby Roy were kind enough to take him for us while we were gone.  He only caused a little bit of turmoil when he decided to kidnap their dog Sawyer and run away for a little while.  Dang dog.  He had the time of his life tho I'm sure and was a little bit sad to have to leave his new buddy and come home to our boring house.  
To give him a little excitement I brought this cute girl home with me too!
  Little miss Payzli Ann came to see us for a few days!  YAY!!  She LOVED Skeeter and they became quick and true friends.  He even let her put beautiful "makeup" on him :)
We spent a LOT of our time at the Rexburg Splash Park.  
 This little girl was in heaven.
Taking a break to warm up and eat some lunch
 Pretty soon it was time to dry off and ride the carousel.
 In heaven yet again!
 We got to spend a little bit of time swimming at the St Anthony sand bar with Uncle Dillon on Saturday
We also took a day and headed down to Pocatello to go spend some cousin swim time at Ross Park
 I think it's safe to say that we wore her out :)
We did stay dry for a few mins while she was here and ate snow cones at the park...
 Mastered the monkey bars...
 And spent an evening outside around the fire roasting hot dogs and making s'mores.  
And hanging out with Skeeter :)
I can't speak for her, but I had a blast and am so glad she wanted to come spend some time with us :)
Love you Z!  
Can't wait for next summer's stay :)