Saturday, September 10, 2011

What a week

Well, as you may or may not know, my last post didn't only cause a splash...but a whole Tsunami. Many things went down "behind the scenes" and some very mean things were said; but, then some very nice things were said. So, damage control has been done and life is good again! Although I don't regret what I said in my post, I do think that I probably should have waited a few more hours (or days) to cool off before sitting down to express my feelings.
Oh well, live and learn and then give hugs :)
But thank you everyone for your support and for listening to me rant and rave

But anywho....

This week has been the Eastern Idaho State Fair, right here in Blackfoot Idaho. Dillon's family always gets together at least once during the week to spend some quality time together betting quarters at "the track." Oh how much I have come to love the horses races since they first came into my life 3 years ago when I joined the Merrill Family. And the best part of the 4 hour long horse races? The Indian Relays. I went to take pictures and videos of them this year, but my camera was dead :( So instead you'll have to refer to my post a few years ago here or look them up on youtube. This year we all got together and went on Labor Day then yesterday while Dillon was working I got to go a second time with his family. I was sad Dillon couldn't come but glad I got to go again :)
Once Dillon got done with work we were able to go back into the fairgrounds together and enjoy the free tickets we got to see Ronnie Dunn in concert. It was actually a really good concert despite an opening act that was less than impressive. Lol.
All we had were our phones so the pictures aren't the greatest but oh well, at least it was proof we were there :)Yeah, I know. Dillon swears this is his normal smile but I assure you that it is not. Taking pictures with real smile is something we're workin on :)

This week has also been my first week back to being a contributing member of society. I cannot tell you how GOOD it feels to be back working. And especially to be back working in preschool! It is only part time and I am only an aid, but nontheless, it is a job and it is in preschool. YAY!

This week I have also had many reminders that I live on a reservation. Lol. Sometimes I forget I guess and this week I have continually been reminded of it. So I came up with a list of the slightly 'not so common' reminders from this week.

You might be a white person living on an Indian Reservation if:
1. If you are driving down the road and see your neighbors practicing for above mentioned Indian Relays.

2. If while you are at above mentioned Relays you are able to say that 2 of the 5 teams in a single race are your neighbors.

3. If while at the State Fair you point out your neighbors to someone and it is one of the chubby little Indian children that often play outside in only their underwear.

4. If you start a new job and while meeting all the new people you work with you get asked where you live and when you are done telling them they ask if you get any benefits or advantages.

5. If a stray dog shows up at your house and sticks around for a few days.
(I may or may not have named him "Chief Dum-Dum")

And although Skeeter clearly thoroughly enjoyed having some K9 company...
We now have the BB gun locked and loaded by the front door for when Chief Dum-Dum comes to play since in the short time we let him stick around he taught Skeeter some very naughty things.

6. If when you go to move pipe with your husband and he leaves you standing in the middle of the field alone while he goes back to the car for some tools and from within the hay a pack of 3 dogs stands up and barks and growls and threatens to attack. (Luckily Dillon hurried back before I could get eaten by a pack of wild Res dogs; not my idea of a fun way to die)

and finally...7. If you are standing in your bathroom gettin ready for the day and you can hear tribal drums playing out your window.

Just to name a few :)

Hope you all had as good of a week as I did!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


It has now taken me over 2 hours to write this post. I have written, erased, read, erased, reread and rewritten this post probably a dozen times. This was not an easy post for me to write or one that I particularly enjoyed writing. But I feel like some things just need to be said. So here goes nothing...

Every time I get on Facebook I see that someone new has posted "I am (x) weeks and craving (fill in the blank)." At first I had no idea what was going on and was really confused when I saw people posting this that I knew were not pregnant. It didn't take me long to assume it was just another stupid Facebook game and left it at that. Then, I came across this article that was posted by a friend: Well, at least now I finally knew what it was all about. But, as the post says, how in fact was this supposed to promote breast cancer awareness? What does it have to do with breast cancer? As an individual that struggles with infertility I wasn't offended by the explosion of fake pregnancy announcements, but find it annoying and slightly insensitive. But, I would just skip over them and keep on scrolling, just as I do with the real pregnancy announcements I see on Facebook almost daily. I let it roll of my back and didn't think much of it or let it bug me too much. Until today.

Today I came across another blog post that was written about this Facebook trend. But, this post was nothing like the post linked above. It was quite the opposite actually and for the first time since this "game" began, I was offended.

"It has come to my attention that several people are getting offended by this game due to the fact that they or someone they know is suffering from in-fertility. First of all, to those people that are suffering from in-fertility, I am SOOOO sorry. I can't imagine what pain and turmoil you are going through in your life.
However, on that same note, everyone has their own personal struggles. Everyone has pain and turmoil in their lives."

I agree 110%. Everyone has their own personal battles to wage. That is why sensitivity is SO important. We know that everyone struggles with something different but we don't always know what that something is.

"Only you can allow yourself to be offended by something that is bigger than all of us. Do you get offended every time someone decides to bring a child into the world? Can't you just be happy for those people?"

"Can't you just be happy for those people?"
Really? REALLY???? You don't think I try with all my might to be happy for people?

"Many may argue that this game has nothing to do with bringing children into the world, and you would be right. This game has nothing to do with having babies. It is about breast cancer awareness. It causes people to take 1 step out of their busy lives and ask the question "What does your status mean?" This gives someone the chance to explain a little bit more about breast cancer and raise awareness."

Right, this game is not about having babies. So why make it look like it is? I have not seen ONE person ask, "What does your status mean?" and get a reply that says, "Oh, it's about breast cancer. Let me give you a run down on what it is and all the stats and signs..." Instead, all I see are jokes about pregnancy. If you would like to promote breast cancer awareness...GREAT! My grandma had breast cancer, it is a real issue and deserves attention. But bring it to attention in a way that is about breast cancer. Make it as corky and clever as you would like. Make it something that people turn their heads to and think twice about. But do NOT bring another person's very personal and VERY emotional trial into the forefront. No matter what that trial may be.

"I feel like everyone has to make everything about them. This game has nothing to do with in-fertility. It is about Breast Cancer. I understand that people with infertility might feel bombarded by fake pregnancy craving and it might make them feel sad. I am sorry that you are going through this. However, I don't expect you to walk on egg-shells around me because my grandma died of breast cancer. So, if you don't mind, I am not going to walk on egg-shells around you because of infertility."

I don't want you to walk on egg-shells around me. But I do want a little respect and sensitivity. Just as one would get if, say... their grandmother passed away from cancer.

"I am TRULY sorry for your pain, but please, don't be offended by something that had nothing to do with infertility in the first place."

For anyone that has ever experienced, or is close to someone that has experienced infertility knows, seeing "I am 6 weeks and craving tomatoes" has EVERYTHING to do with infertility.

Just a few quick stats for ya:
  • Number of women ages 15-44 with an impaired ability to have children: 7.3 million
  • Percent of women ages 15-44 with an impaired ability to have children: 11.8%
  • Number of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant for at least 12 consecutive months): 2.1 million
  • Percent of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile: 7.4%
  • Number of women ages 15-44 who have ever used infertility services: 7.3 million
  • Infertility affects as many as 1 in 6 couples.
So, to the person that wrote the blog post that I have now dissected...thank you for you condolences on my defective uterus. But, just as you said, you can't IMAGINE what pain and turmoil I am experiencing in my life. When you have experienced infertility...then you can tell me how sorry you are.

And you are completely right, it is a choice to get offended. And I choose to be offended by your post. That is the choice I made and I know I am not alone in my choice. But, just so you know, I did not choose to burst into tears while reading your post. I did not choose to have to stop reading several times to regain composure. I did not choose to start shaking with extreme emotions of all kinds after finally being able to read through the end of your post. And I did not choose the struggle of bringing children into this world that makes me sensitive about this topic. But, I am choosing to tell you, and anyone that shares your feelings, how I feel. Now it is your choice as to whether or not you will get offended by my post. Whatever you choose to do makes no difference to me.

So, next time, maybe think twice before posting something that has the potential of offending 7.3 million people.