Monday, November 4, 2013


Gratitude has been on my mind a lot lately.  And since it is now November and Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I decided it is time to write down a few thoughts on gratitude.  

This life is amazing.  Truly.  We are the most blessed people with so many things to be grateful for.  Even on those days that it seems the whole world is against you and it seems that everything that could go wrong, is.  Even on those days we have things to be grateful for.

Last week was amongst the worst of my life.  Our excitement over miracle pregnancy #2 was short lived when it was interrupted by miscarriage #2.  
4 1/2 years of trying, countless doctor visits, countless medications and needle pokes, 4 IUI's, 2 surgeries and now 2 miscarriages later and we are still childless.  It is easy to get angry.  It is easy to look at the lives of others and wish with all my might that I could have just a portion of what they have.

But then I remember... my life is amazing.  I am SO blessed.  That night, after my doctor had confirmed that I was in fact losing the pregnancy, as I said my prayers I was filled with emotion of every kind.  I wanted to cry to the Lord and ask him "why?" Why could I not have the joy and excitement that SO many others get to have?  Why were we given the overwhelmingly good news of successfully becoming pregnant only to be devastated by the news that it was not going to last?  
But instead, all I could think to do was pour out my heart in gratitude.  I thanked my Heavenly Father for the great and many blessings He has given me.  I was still sad, but that was ok.  I am loved and very blessed.
  • I have the most amazing husband a woman could ask for.  Seriously.
  • I have not only my family, but Dillon's family that love and support us.
  • I have the greatest friends that I have no idea how I got so lucky to have.
  • I have a loving and kind Heavenly Father.
  • I have a Savior that has felt my pains.  That has experienced my highest of highs and lowest of lows.  He knows how to comfort me.
  • I have a wonderful job that I love that gives me the opportunity to teach and love so many children.
  • I have the temporal blessings that I need right now in my life.  
    • we have a nice (semi warm :)) house to live in
    • we have working vehicles
    • we have jobs that produce income
    • we have food on the table and clothes on our backs

I might not have the perfect life and I might not have everything that I want in my life right now.  
But I have enough.

I love this time of year and the opportunity that I have to reflect on my blessings.  I'm especially grateful this year that I am able to recognize and focus on my blessings at such a trying and difficult time.

All of us experience trials.  We all have hard times.  It happens, it is part of life.  We can either choose to wallow in our sorrows and be angry at the world or we can choose to see the good that can and does come from trials and struggles.  
Here it comes...... are you ready for it?
......I am grateful for this trial of infertility.  Ok, not for the trial itself, but for the things I have gained because of experiencing it.
Really, truly.  
I am grateful for the things that I have learned, for the relationships that have been strengthened, for the friendships that have been renewed, for the compassion that I have developed, for my testimony that has been strengthened, and for the knowledge that I have gained.

I am blessed!