Infertility

It has now taken me over 2 hours to write this post. I have written, erased, read, erased, reread and rewritten this post probably a dozen times. This was not an easy post for me to write or one that I particularly enjoyed writing. But I feel like some things just need to be said. So here goes nothing...

Every time I get on Facebook I see that someone new has posted "I am (x) weeks and craving (fill in the blank)." At first I had no idea what was going on and was really confused when I saw people posting this that I knew were not pregnant. It didn't take me long to assume it was just another stupid Facebook game and left it at that. Then, I came across this article that was posted by a friend: http://www.andysclan.com/2011/09/influx-of-pregnancy-nope.html?spref=fb. Well, at least now I finally knew what it was all about. But, as the post says, how in fact was this supposed to promote breast cancer awareness? What does it have to do with breast cancer? As an individual that struggles with infertility I wasn't offended by the explosion of fake pregnancy announcements, but find it annoying and slightly insensitive. But, I would just skip over them and keep on scrolling, just as I do with the real pregnancy announcements I see on Facebook almost daily. I let it roll of my back and didn't think much of it or let it bug me too much. Until today.

Today I came across another blog post that was written about this Facebook trend. But, this post was nothing like the post linked above. It was quite the opposite actually and for the first time since this "game" began, I was offended.

"It has come to my attention that several people are getting offended by this game due to the fact that they or someone they know is suffering from in-fertility. First of all, to those people that are suffering from in-fertility, I am SOOOO sorry. I can't imagine what pain and turmoil you are going through in your life.
However, on that same note, everyone has their own personal struggles. Everyone has pain and turmoil in their lives."

I agree 110%. Everyone has their own personal battles to wage. That is why sensitivity is SO important. We know that everyone struggles with something different but we don't always know what that something is.

"Only you can allow yourself to be offended by something that is bigger than all of us. Do you get offended every time someone decides to bring a child into the world? Can't you just be happy for those people?"

"Can't you just be happy for those people?" Really? REALLY???? You don't think I try with all my might to be happy for people?

"Many may argue that this game has nothing to do with bringing children into the world, and you would be right. This game has nothing to do with having babies. It is about breast cancer awareness. It causes people to take 1 step out of their busy lives and ask the question "What does your status mean?" This gives someone the chance to explain a little bit more about breast cancer and raise awareness."

Right, this game is not about having babies. So why make it look like it is? I have not seen ONE person ask, "What does your status mean?" and get a reply that says, "Oh, it's about breast cancer. Let me give you a run down on what it is and all the stats and signs..." Instead, all I see are jokes about pregnancy. If you would like to promote breast cancer awareness...GREAT! My grandma had breast cancer, it is a real issue and deserves attention. But bring it to attention in a way that is about breast cancer. Make it as corky and clever as you would like. Make it something that people turn their heads to and think twice about. But do NOT bring another person's very personal and VERY emotional trial into the forefront. No matter what that trial may be.

"I feel like everyone has to make everything about them. This game has nothing to do with in-fertility. It is about Breast Cancer. I understand that people with infertility might feel bombarded by fake pregnancy craving and it might make them feel sad. I am sorry that you are going through this. However, I don't expect you to walk on egg-shells around me because my grandma died of breast cancer. So, if you don't mind, I am not going to walk on egg-shells around you because of infertility."

I don't want you to walk on egg-shells around me. But I do want a little respect and sensitivity. Just as one would get if, say... their grandmother passed away from cancer.

"I am TRULY sorry for your pain, but please, don't be offended by something that had nothing to do with infertility in the first place."

For anyone that has ever experienced, or is close to someone that has experienced infertility knows, seeing "I am 6 weeks and craving tomatoes" has EVERYTHING to do with infertility.

Just a few quick stats for ya:

• Number of women ages 15-44 with an impaired ability to have children: 7.3 million
• Percent of women ages 15-44 with an impaired ability to have children: 11.8%
• Number of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant for at least 12 consecutive months): 2.1 million
• Percent of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile: 7.4%
• Number of women ages 15-44 who have ever used infertility services: 7.3 million
• Infertility affects as many as 1 in 6 couples.

So, to the person that wrote the blog post that I have now dissected...thank you for you condolences on my defective uterus. But, just as you said, you can't IMAGINE what pain and turmoil I am experiencing in my life. When you have experienced infertility...then you can tell me how sorry you are.

And you are completely right, it is a choice to get offended. And I choose to be offended by your post. That is the choice I made and I know I am not alone in my choice. But, just so you know, I did not choose to burst into tears while reading your post. I did not choose to have to stop reading several times to regain composure. I did not choose to start shaking with extreme emotions of all kinds after finally being able to read through the end of your post. And I did not choose the struggle of bringing children into this world that makes me sensitive about this topic. But, I am choosing to tell you, and anyone that shares your feelings, how I feel. Now it is your choice as to whether or not you will get offended by my post. Whatever you choose to do makes no difference to me.

So, next time, maybe think twice before posting something that has the potential of offending 7.3 million people.